Most of the time, people take me for a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of lady. I smile, talk to strangers, and appreciate the beauty of the world around me. If I didn’t mention it, all by those closest to me would be fooled by my mask of “having it all together.” Of course, below the surface, we’re all fallen. Our masks are all cracked–some more than others. Still, few would peg me as one of those depressed, anxious, traumatized types. Passionate, yes. Driven, yes. Intelligent, yes. Terrified, sad, feigning enjoyment, no.
Herein lies the rub, I want to be honest with people about my struggles–from my swollen arthritic knees to my seasonal affect disorder, but I don’t want people to judge me by what’s wrong with me. I don’t want others to question my ability or my talent because some days I *don’t* have it all together. So, how does one maintain professional integrity while writing from the heart? I suppose I could craft a secret identity, like Spider-Man, and engage others with my angst all the while wearing red spandex (figuratively, not literally. Believe me, no one wants to see me sporting red spandex.) Or I could be guarded separating my thoughts into two spaces–a personal blog (Atypical Musings) and a professional blog (Backseat Writer). Still, how open do I want to be on Atypical Musings? Surely, everything I share here will be connected to my other work. Do I want that? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
The truth is–I don’t know. I think back to my interview with Bebo Norman, who was so forthcoming in sharing his struggles with pre-performance anxiety (read interview, “Bebo Norman:: From the Ruins“). I remember meeting him face to face before a show for the first time a few months later. As I briefly chatted with Bebo, I wondered if he was OK. I wanted to tell him that if he needed to do some deep breathing, I was here for him. We could try some relaxation techniques together. He seemed fine. Fine for someone I don’t know. His performance was wonderful–no sign of anxiety at all. Was his mask cracked or had he worked through the anxiety entirely? (During the interview, he told me he had been treating his anxiety and making great progress.)
Another mystery to ponder. It really doesn’t matter what Bebo was feeling at the time because he came across as a professional, while admitting that anxiety was a huge struggle for at least part of his touring life. He even said it was easier to talk about since the symptoms of his anxiety had greatly diminished, yet he couldn’t talk about it during the worst episodes. But he wondered if he should have been “more real” about it. Frankly, that interview, which was to promote his newly released album has been one of the most encouraging conversations of my life.
It’s hard to be open about depression, anxiety, and the like, especially as a woman (since the fairer sex seems to judged on its emotionality). I’ll keep asking God for wisdom in writing as I continue on this journey called “life.”
With songs like Deas * 3 and A Blind Cocktail veering effortlessly from crunching punk tones to high fragility, in recent months Enemies have shown themselves as a force to be reckoned with. Part of the developing rock movement based in Kilcoole, Co. Wicklow, the band have caused a stir on the post-rock scene with their Alpha Waves EP. As they ready for a tour in Japan with TOE, Drop-d collared guitarist Lewis for a quick low-down to know our Enemies….
Drop-d: Guitarist Eoin is in Kidd Blunt and runs The Hive studio with KB bassist James. Are the remaining members of Enemies affiliated with other musical projects? Lewis: They are indeed. As well as Kidd Blunt, Eoin also has another band Soldiers Take Half and both bands have albums on the way.
Our bassist Mark plays in a band called RAN and those guys will be releasing a mini-album sometime this year. Oisin, our drummer, plays in More Tiny Giants who are demoing a new album… But my only love is Enemies and for the foreseeable future there will be no other band for me!
Drop-d: How have you been getting on lately? Enemies were one of the support acts at the recent May Bank Holiday weekend Club AC30. Brilliant night! Lewis: Yeah, we just played two dates with And So I Watch You From Afar and that was our first time playing with Maybeshewill, we had a great time. ASIWYFA are really nice guys , incredible live, we look forward to playing with them again.
Drop-d: You played your last Dublin show for a while at the Lower Deck on 28th May, it seemed like something of a pit-stop before you were off again. How are you feeling about going to Japan? Lewis: Yeah it was really nice that we got to play to our friends before we head on tour, it’s a good way of testing out our set. We are all really excited about Japan…I guess its hard to know what to expect but it’s a chance in a lifetime for us, we’re going to make the most of it!
Drop-d: You’ve been signed over there to Toe’s label Machu Picchu and they’re set to give Alpha Waves its Japanese release with a bonus track. What do you think of the Japanese rock circuit? It seems a bit randomly hit-and-miss sometimes. Lewis: To be honest I don’t really know much about the rock circuit in Japan. We are touring with Toe there and they seem to do pretty well for themselves so…we’re happy to ride along on their success!
Drop-d: You’ve already got quite a few Japanese fans. I heard you got signed as a result of this kind of intense interest from people? It’s almost amazing for an Irish band to be noticed in such a way. Lewis: Ah I wouldn’t say intense interest but I guess it kicked off for us last year when we got a distribution deal there from a label called Stiff Slack. From there we got signed by MachuPicchu so we’ve just been building our fan base as much as we can. We are still so very overwhelmed by all of this.
Drop-d: It’s just kinda strange because here in Ireland, you’ve seemed to come from nowhere in the last six months even though your EP was released last year. Not that there’s a hugely saturated post-rock circuit here. Were you keeping a lower profile or had other music priorities? Lewis: Nah we haven’t really been keeping a low profile…it’s just that everyone else in Enemies has other projects. So it’s not a case of prioritising any band over the other, we just have other bands to look after as well. Drop-d: No pressure like but eh…can we expect a new Enemies EP or album any time soon? Lewis: We’re currently writing songs for a full-length album, it’s due to be released next year. We’ll have more info up on our MySpace soon.
Drop-d: Speaking of musical projects, you recently fell foul of a distribution label and missed out on releasing a 7″ of Feed Me Seedless/Bits of Parrots. The distro company took your cash and folded? Fuckers. Will you still release the vinyl or are there other plans now? Lewis: Yeah, the company was called Media Sourcing Ltd. and yes, we hope they all die a slow death. The company liquidated and had never had any intention on making our records, so unfortunately we will not be releasing it on vinyl. There’s a limited-edition CD being sold in Japan but for everyone else, it’s up for free digital download on richtercollective.com.
Alpha Waves is out now. Enemies play Kyoto, Japan on 12 June, the first of a 9-date tour. For more information and to wish them luck, visit the band’s MySpace profile.
01. Soul Discoveries – Some Othaness For You is a classic modern soul album. How was the creative experience?
. Karen Bernod - ..Lovely! It’s always nice when I get together to create with others. Especially when we enjoy what we’re doing..it comes thru in the music.
02. Soul Discoveries - There are nine songs on Some Othaness For You and it was released on Natively Creative Music in 2000. Why not a major label?
. Karen Bernod - Majors are not really checking for Artists like myself. The Industry has changed so much. Since I am a seasoned Artist in order for me to have autonomy being Independent is the way to go. Now ..I sure wouldn’t mind
having major distribution w/a nice licensing deal..wink wink!:-)
03. Soul Discoveries - Life @ 360 Degrees is your latest album released on the same label in 2006. How different was making that album to Some Othaness For You?
. Karen Bernod - Each album was developed at different points in my life,
at different times in my career. Both are indicative of those times. SOFU was my debut..L@360 is the next level up and so on.. I like to keep it real..lol
04. Soul Discoveries – Are you working on a new record since Life @ 360 Degree’s?
. Karen Bernod – Yes.. my next Cd will be released in 2010 entitled “Planting Seeds”. It’s also my Producer debut so I’m excited and focused at the same time.
05. Soul Discoveries – What music have you been listening to lately?
. Karen Bernod – India Arie’s new Cd, Colby Callait, Mary Mary and Karen Bernod to name a few.
06. Soul Discoveries - What has been keeping you busy?
. Karen Bernod – Getting my Hustle on and keeping it up. We Independent Artist gotta keep it movin..not much dust on my heels right now..I’m Planting Seeds for my future.:-)
07. Soul Discoveries – What do you think of Soul Discoveries?
. Karen Bernod - Great. I always appreciate those who appreciate and acknowledge good Music for the Soul!! And I thank you for your love and support.
08. Soul Discoveries – Are you planning on visiting the UK when you release new material?
. Karen Bernod - Yes I Love the UK! You have always supported me ..when I was w/Incognito..Erykah..D’angelo Chaka and even my Solo Career..I’d be crazy not to. So I’m ready..just need that booking! Jazz Cafe anyone? lol
09. Soul Discoveries - Am I right in saying you did backing vocals for Erykah Badu?
. Karen Bernod -I guess I kind of spoke before hand huh? Yes I have, and it was a very good time for Erykah. She’d just came out her timing was perfect. We had fun on that gig. Tyrone was created in london at the Jazz Cafe.We were having a sound check for the gig that nite. Erykah was messing around on the mic. My self and the other BGVst chimed in as the keyboard player plunked out some chords and Tyrone was born. That was really koooool.
10. Soul Discoveries – Do you have a message for Soul Discoveries readers?
. Karen Bernod – Follow your heart and your dreams will follow!!! Stay true to yourself and believe and have faith and remember nothing worth having comes easy so work hard for what you want and get rid of all that doesn’t serve you well. Last but surely not least…Pray! Thank You Soul Discoveries..Peace n love
Kb
xo.
Happy New Year! Let’s hope 2010 is the year that Madrid takes home the trophies for both La Liga and the Champions League!
To recap what happened in el mundo del Real Madrid in the last few days: Cristiano played leapfrog in practice, Kaká tried out a new look involving a giant headband, Garay’s new year wishes include a quick recovery for Pepe and a victory vs. Osasuna, and Zidane is becoming more involved in Madrid’s activities.
Oh, and Madrid’s players were looking hot upon arrival in pamplona for today’s game against Osasuna.
This is the first post in an experiment I am conducting where twice a month (hopefully), I post a short interview of a person whose work have a tinge or more of darkness about them (although I may branch out later), not about their work (because you can easily google those), but about their beliefs and experiences in the supernatural.
I am honored to have Budjette Tan, one of the country’s best known comic book writers and whose well-crafted works of dark fantasy I admire.
I hope you enjoy it. Here goes:
Budjette Tan holding a copy of Trese
Alamat Comics co-founder Budjette Tan is nowadays known as the guy who created Trese, the comic book series that revolves around Alexandra Trese, a supernatural detective, a link between our world and the next.
Now spanning three best-selling books, Trese has managed to capture the imagination of many Filipinos, who avidly follow Trese and the Kambal’s – her twin bodyguards – hair-raising adventures. He is also involved with Underpass, a graphic novel published under Summit Books.
You can read Trese’s first seven cases for free at http://www.tresecomics.com
Do you believe in ghosts/ elementals? If yes, have you seen one (or more)? Can you tell us about it?
Yes, I do believe in such things. I have not really seen any supernatural creature or being, but my mother has told me enough stories to make me believe that they are real.
When I was still a baby of four or five months old, we supposedly lived in a haunted house in Merville. Strange things would be seen and heard by my relatives, the maids, and the driver. They talked about lights being switched on and off, getting calls on the intercom from rooms where there were no people, slippers moving by themselves, sights a young lady seen in the backseat of the car as the driver was backing out of the driveway. My mom and dad didn’t believe in such things. And then, one summer afternoon, after my mom gave me a bath, she noticed that the right side of my face wrinkled up like that of an old man. My right eye stared at her in defiance. She slapped my right cheek and commanded the spirit to leave me. And even though she slapped me hard, I did not cry but just stared back at her. She ended up praying the entire rosary before my face returned to normal.
A séance was held in the house and the medium spoke to two spirits, a father and a daughter, who died believing that the house still belonged to them. The medium explained to them that they were already dead and that they needed to move on. No other occurrence happened after the séance. (I’ve been planning to turn this story into a novel or a graphic novel. Maybe we’ll get to do it this year.)
When I was in college, strange things also started happening in our house in La Vista, Quezon City. I was abroad at the time all this happened and my mom called me up long distance just to tell me what they saw.
It was after dinner, my mom and dad sat at the lanai facing the garden – where we would see the usual moth fluttering near the spotlights and the occasional bat swoop down to munch on the moths. That night, a winged creature flew downwards and instead of flying back up into the dark sky, it stopped and hovered in front of the spotlight that lit the garden. The wings were attached to what looked like a human head that had no eyes, nose, or mouth. And where the ears should’ve been, the flesh-colored wings sprouted from the head and fluttered and kept itself floating. Before my mom and dad could do anything, the head vanished. And even though I was halfway around the world, sitting in a brightly lit room in the middle of the afternoon, I found myself scared to look out the window.
The Head was later seen by our cook and another maid. It was seen rolling, bouncing on the wall behind the kitchen.
At the time, the Spirit Questors were getting a lot of press. So, we invited them to do a quest in our house. Through the Questors, we found out the Head was actually a duwende – that they have the ability to change shape and they do so to play around with people. We also found out that there were two tribes of duwende living on the perimeter of our house. The Brown Duwende lived in the garden at the back. They were the “good guys”. The Black Duwende lived in the shrubs at the front of the house. They were the “bad guys”. The two tribes were trying to dominate the inside of the house.
Whenever the Brown tribe would win, good stuff happens to those in the house.
Whenever the Black tribe would win, bad luck happens. Which might have explained why my father’s business would have good years and bad years, said the Questors.
The Questors also met a diwata, who supposedly liked hanging around my mother and protected her from harm.
The Brown duwende requested that we keep the garden clean. They didn’t like it when we didn’t sweep away the dead leaves. They also asked if we could give them seafood and sweets every 5pm, which we left at the foot of a particular tree. We followed these requests and didn’t see the Head anymore after that.
Like I said, a lot of weird stuff has happened around me (seems like my mom is the magnet for weirdness), but I myself have not seen anything unusual. Probably, the only time I might have seen a ghost was when my father died. I slept in his room and when I woke up, I saw a shadowy figure seated at the couch. It was staring at me. It didn’t look like my dad. It was a thinner, slimmer figure. The figure vanished soon after I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
What’s the scariest place you’ve been to? Why was it scary? Did you end up experiencing anything supernatural there? Do you plan to go back?
Back in college, one of the urban legends we kept hearing about was the 13th house on 13 Street in New Manila. According to the story, a sale man / repairman / exterminator was called to the house. (The main character’s job changes, depending on who tells the story.) Even though he quickly found 13 Street, he could not find the house itself. After house #12, the numbering of the house would skip to #14. It was getting late and the sun was already setting. He was about to give up when he suddenly noticed that he was parked right in front of house #13.
He rang the doorbell and an old lady opened the gate. The lady was so happy to see him, that he had finally arrived, and he was ushered into the dimly-lit house.
The old lady supposedly showed him around the house and then wanted him to go to the basement. She said, she had prepared his favorite dish – adobo, supposedly. The lady smiled at the man and was trying to push him towards the door that lead downwards. The man panicked and gave some excuse about forgetting something in the car. He rushed out the door, out the gate and ran into his car and drove away as fast as he could.
The next day, he realized he forgot something in the house. So, he drove back and could not find it anymore.
One night, while hanging out at the 24-hour Mister Donut at Greenhills, one of the guys started telling this story again and after the story was told, we decided we just had to try and find the house for ourselves.
When we got to 13 Street, we saw that it was narrow road. So, to be able to implement a quick gate-away, we decided to drive into the street in reserve. While my brother drove the van, the rest of us were walking around trying to look for house #13. One of the guys had a camera and started snapping away, hoping that we’d catch some spirit or ghoul when the picture was developed. (We didn’t.)
And just like in the story, we could not find the 13th house. At a certain point, we just ended up scaring ourselves because a barking dog. We all jumped into the van and drove as far away as possible. We must’ve looked like the cast of Scooby-Doo that night.
We never did go back. Maybe we should try to look for it after all these years.
What’s the scariest ghost story you’ve heard?
I guess that story of me as a baby is the scariest one I’ve been told.
How has your supernatural experiences (even if they come in the form of secondhand stories) influenced your work?
Based on the things we were told about the duwende tribe in our house, that became basis for how things worked in the world of Trese.
The idea that these different enkanto and elementals group themselves into tribes, the idea that these supernatural beings can be dealt with or negotiated with using the right type of food came from those experiences. The idea that one’s career and life can be influenced these beings also came from those stories. The idea that a duwende can affect the lives of a household, became the jumping off point for things like, “Maybe the scions of Makati are so fortunate because they keep a tikbalang with them and maybe that tikbalang is living is in the tallest tower in Makati.”
What advice would you give someone who comes face to face with a ghost/elemental?
I think the advice given to “what would you do if you encounter a rabid dog / a bear in the forest / a snake in your basement” applies to what you should do when you encounter a ghost or elemental : DON’T PANIC. DON’T PROVOKE IT. RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
And one must not forget the great words of Winston Zeddemore: “…when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say `YES`!”
Again, you can read Trese’s first seven cases for free at http://www.tresecomics.com
